I have been fairly critical of the quality of leadership coming from Duke University these days. To the occasional observer, their energy seems to be focused on silencing critics instead of fixing problems. The Provost's response to former Professor Houston Baker is a perfect case in point. By trying to hush Dr. Baker's criticism, they have lost a valuable resource.

Just by reading Dr. Baker's letter, you can tell that he was frustrated and upset. A real leader would ask, "why?" What is going on that would make a member of the faculty so angry? The Provost knows that there is tension between Duke and the city of Durham. Again, why? Where did all of this resentment come from? Why are so many people banging pots and pans in front of his house?

This has been a significant failure of leadership. When Dr. Baker's letter appeared, the first response should have been to ask him to draft a policy that would fix everything; to listen to his ideas, to press him for answers and details. The first response should have been to encourage an open discussion of the issues, and implement reforms that have campus-wide ownership. By listening instead of condemning, the Provost and the President would have gained a great deal of information and power -- information and power that they currently lack.

While bullying is an important topic, I had always considered it only loosely related to this website. A recent study suggests otherwise, giving information that seems very similar to findings about the root causes of domestic violence.

According to the study, "There were 34 percent of the children in this group that had bullied another child, while 73 percent of the children said they were a victim to a bully in that last year. Out of the bully group, almost all of them, 97 percent, said they also were victims of a bully." This parallels Justice Department findings that almost every batterer was the victim of battering as a child. The study also suggests that bullies got their ideas about violence, and how acceptable it is, from witnessing violence in their own home or someplace nearby.

Clearly, any child that witnesses or suffers abuse is going to have some serious anger and depression problems. Venting these problems on fellow students is not just a case of "kids will be kids." It is an indication of serious emotional problems, of an innocent victim creating even more innocent victims until the violence is stopped.

In a previous article about the sexual assault charges against some members of Duke Univerity's Lacrosse team, I quoted Dr. Houston Baker, a member of the Duke faculty who was critical of the University leadership. I recently contacted him to ask his opinion on any steps being taken at Duke to improve things. He informed me that he is no longer associated with Duke. So I did some Googling, and found the text of the letter he sent to Duke administrators, and the text of a letter written by Duke Academic Provost Peter Lange in response. After reading both letters, it is clear that while Dr. Baker was angry about a campus atmosphere, Provost Lange only seemed angry at Dr. Baker. If Lange speaks for the University at large, I am suddenly much more pessimistic about the chance for improvement at Duke University.

Many people need a restraining order, but just can't quite get around to visiting a Domestic Violence Prevention agency to get one. It's usually a problem of fear, or shyness, or a complex combination of emotions -- none of them good, and none of them deserved. This is a shame, because restraining orders can be very useful tools if used properly. And working with an Advocate at the agency is a very positive step. Suddenly, you will find that you have smart and powerful friends backing you up.

If going to a Domestic Violence Prevention agency is just too much for you to face, sometimes it helps to break it down into smaller steps. For example, on the way to grocery shopping, drive past the agency. Now you know how to get there. Drive through the parking lot and note where you would park. Notice where the main door is. Usually the agency is in a building that rents offices. Notice what other businesses are in the building -- shoe repair, insurance, whatever -- and maybe do some business with one of them. The result: you are comfortable driving there, parking, and going inside.

Another procedure is to start calling the agency's Crisis line whenever it is safe to do so. Almost all of the agencies staff a 24-hour Crisis line, so call it and talk to the trained Advocate on the other end. Feel free to be perfectly honest. Tell them that you are working on building confidence in talking to Advocates, so that eventually you will be able to go into the agency office. The Advocate on the phone will understand completely, and will be willing to answer questions, or describe the process, or just chat about other things to help build your confidence level.

If you break the process down to these smaller steps, you will finally be able to go into the Domestic Violence Prevention agency, and get the help and support you need and deserve.